Prerna Sinha – I May Not Be Your Kind Of Pretty
I may not be your kind of pretty
but I am pretty within
pretty smart, pretty wise, pretty nice
What may not be appealing for you,
may be extremely pretty for me.
I was always a rebel and while I never showed it to anyone, it subconsciously affected my confidence within me. When my grandma said;
Ye to bahut kali hai, kuch karo nahi to shaadi nahi hogi.
(She is too dark, if you don’t do something she will not get married)
Or when the boys I had a crush on did not give me a second glance. Or even when my mom, made me various uptans(scrubs) to brighten my complexion. I did not show it ever, but I sat in front of a mirror every day, hoping and praying that I wish God had made me just two shades lighter. I never wanted a white complexion but a light brown would not be bad.
I felt I had beautiful features but felt that my complexion doused them. Soon I grew up and complexion improved or stopped mattering, I don’t know what happened first. The more confident me felt pretty and then came the attention of the opposite gender.
You would think, good I healed but no, soon I was surrounded by body weight issues. I was always skinny as a kid never had to worry about putting on weight but now I could see metabolism slowing down and those unwanted bulges appearing. Now I was spending time worrying about clothes fittings, trying out fad diets and more.
Broken relationships left me even more confused as to what really went wrong, what am I missing? Am I not pretty or nice? Am I not good enough?
I would see these ordinary looking women project auras which will hold you captive and wonder why they feel so attractive when they are not conventionally pretty? Wonder why I never felt like them. I never understood until I overcame my own insecurities and realized that every person, every woman is pretty if they feel pretty.
Plato believed that real beauty was both a form and sensory experience. It is we who get stuck in the physical form and mess it in our heads for us. We go through life creating a self-image which bothers us forever, always.
Today, when I look at a person, I see beauty in them. Even if you don’t have conventional features, your confidence in your smile, your gait, your talks can just mesmerize others. Yes, physical beauty may stand out but after you meet a person a few times, features, body shape just fades and the intellect, grace with which they carry themselves, their good nature, their love for themselves are the things that make them attractive.
So here is what I have to say in the end, look beyond, there is a pretty you within you, just waiting to be evoked. I am not your kind of pretty, #Iammorethanmybody
About Prerna Sinha
Prerna is the founder, editor and the owner of one of the Top Parenting Blogs in India, Maa Of All Blogs. She wears many hats being a fashion designer by profession, an economics graduate, certified Ashtanga Yoga teacher, have worked in the garment industry for almost a decade and always have a lot to say about everything. She juggles her job as a full-time blogger with her role as a full-time mother while remaining a student of many “self-improvement” courses ranging from Yoga, kickboxing, running etc. Adventure in any form has a magnetic allure for her whether it is climbing Everest base-camp, running the half marathons, walking the arduous 100 km Oxfam walk.
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